Thursday, 30 April 2009

Gym Class: Aula de Ginastica

One of the most renowned philosophers of the mid 20th Century, Costinha, concerned that people should not only aim for the development of a superior state of mind but should also take care of their bodies for that would be of great importance in the growth of the individual, made a poem that later that century would be revisited by the avant-gard movement of Carioca Funk, becoming familiar to the great audience, moving emotionally and touching millions of hearts.

Gym Class
Gym Class
Gym Class

Do it with me
Do it with me
Do-do-do-do-do-do it with me

Hand in the forehead
Hand in the breast
and now
Hand in the coochie
Hand in the coochie
Ha-ha-hand in the coochie

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Krah-Krah Soap: Sabão Crá-Crá

In the 90's, the government of Brasília faced an alarming epidemic of Fournier Infection.
This nasty disease is a necrotic infection, caused by low standards of hygiene in the genital area and has similar effect to the ever forbidden Lico chemical.
Concerned by the fact that all male population of Brasilia could loose it's sexual organ, and thus considerably reducing population and economic growth in the short term, the government created a special soap containing chemical agents to treat the infection.
A poem to instruct the population on the use of the soap, named Krah-Krah, aired on TV, radio, as well published in newspapers and magazines.
The poem was an acclaimed piece nationwide, winning several awards, including a "Troféu Impresa" in the year of 1992.

Krah-Krah soap
Krah-Krah soap
Doesn't let the ball's hair roll up

Kreh-Kreh soap
Kreh-Kreh soap
Doesn't let the ball's hair stand up

Kree-Kree soap
Kree-Kree soap
Doesn't let the ball's hair fall down

Kroh-Kroh soap
Kroh-Kroh soap
Doesn't let the ball's hair knot out

Kroo-Kroo soap
Kroo-Kroo soap
Doesn't let the ball's hair
curl with the ass'

Saturday, 25 April 2009

The Chucklefuck from Mesquita: A Chatuba de Mesquita

As a developing country, Brazil has a strong contrast between social classes and groups. This social contrast also re percuss into the poetry scene.
Groups coming from more humble neighborhoods decide to adopt local slangs and a more raw and aggressive way of expressing their feelings through words.
The following piece was created by one of these groups, called Hurricane Two-Thousand.
The title of this piece refers to the neighborhood of Chatuba, located in the district of Mesquita, in Rio de Janeiro. Chatuba is also a local slang, used as a verb (i.e. I will chatubar the party!) or as a noun (i.e. This place is a chatuba), meaning chuclefucking: a big messy and chaotic situation.

Attention, Chucklefuck has arrived
Let's crunk it up

Sex machine
I'd intercourse like an animal
The Chucklefuck from Mesquita
Of anal sex tram

Playboy brat
Anal sex funker
The Chucklefuck from Mesquita
Shags all the chicks

We walk wearing Redleys
We come to get women
The Chucklefuck from Mesquita
Of Nike Air tram

Chucklefuck bangs asses
And then bangs twats
It's the bald's tram

Whorehouse in João Pessoa - Puteiro em João Pessoa

Yet another masterpiece by the neosertanist Rodolfo Abrantes. This time, the poet writes about the sexual initiation of a brazilian teenager from northern Brazil.

Life had given me two cousins that were already grown-up
One, a very fair fellow, was August, the other, shameless, was Berssange
On a sunny afternoon, all those kids drinking soda,
With the whole family drunk, it was easier to set up a recent teenager to get laid
So Berssange, an old and experient cousin, that very carefuly walked to Little August
And said

"Have you seen? Ed is going nuts, it's half the path to the pigeon eat seeds.
And in order to the lad don't get sad, we'll go where the colored women are active,
there is no place better in the whole João Pessoa than the Alive Wheel."

And so forth we went, we almost lost the brakes, and I was behind yelling
"Where are you taking me? Let's go back and fetch Mommy, we left her all alone
at the bar!"

"Oh, silly boy, leave mommy for daddy. Come with me and Little August,
you are going to be inaugurated, 'cuz you know, there has never been a fresh guy
in our family. When we arrive at the Alive Wheel, you are going to be decorated!"

When I arrived there, the forró was already angry.
Lots of sweaty dudes dancing with the girls
And the forró was going wild when an old guy,
cross-eyed after so much cachaça told me
"This girl is pasta, she's gonna make you feel great"

My cousin glanced at me and said "poor guy".
It was a smelly ho, of the most disgusting kind
But if you can't hold it, you take her to the bedroom
She put my dick in her mouth, then she crouched on all fours...

It was in a Whorehouse in João Pessoa
where I found out that life is good
it was my first time...

Friday, 24 April 2009

Totally Awesome: Totalmente demais

This piece, by Hanói-Hanói discusses the problems of upper-class women. The parts translated into german in this master piece were written originally in English, but to keep with the author's intentions of alienating the reader of the upper-class terms, they were translated into german. We apologize for not translating them into latin.
Gorgeous as a baby
What gender has, what gender has?
Dates always with Schwulen
What sense does it make? So homossexualy sensual
Rock'n Roll?
For her, it's Jazz!
She has scored
Hohe Leben, Gesellschaft
Paying the tall game!

Smart as no one
She goes on good
She just scores.
During full moon she's crazy
She's in love, I don't know with whom!

She shaked... one extra sprout.
She didn't even think about it... She enjoyed it! She's gone already!
It was just to relax.
Totally awesome, awesome.
Totally awesome, awesome.
Totally awesome, awesome.
Totally awesome!

She always knows who has it.
She builds airplane, she just scores.
If you think she has a problem.
She has no problems!
She makes sex well!

She's got a brand new car, her sprout is beautiful
Her body is a carpet, of the kind that flies
She's very thin, small model design!
If she blinks, Hallo! Otherwise, Auf Wiedersehen.
Her cheque is brand new, she loves to spend.

She fucked a Rolling Stone in Canada
She acts sly, paying the game
What a woman!
Totally awesome!

Totally awesome...
Totally awesome, awesome...
Totally awesome...
Totally awesome, awesome...

Bon-bon Brown: Marrom Bombom

One of the many "Os Morenos" (the Browns) masterpieces, this lyrical ballad shows the brazilian 90's vanguard at its best:

We have every thing on our side
Pray thee, stay with me! 
M'lady by my side, every thing is nice
Pray thee, stay with me! 

By the shore, front to the seaside
Pray thee, stay with me! 
M'lady, it is too wonderful to love 
Is you I need! 

Slip off ye Jeans, put yer dental floss
Brown girl ye are so sinfully sensual

On the sands, our love
On the beach, our sounds
Lo, be magic in our colour! 
Our brown colour

Bon-bon Brown, Bon-bon Brown! 
Our colour of brown!

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Dust: Poeira

This second poem shows us a dark, yet beautiful perspective about life and death written by Ivete Sangalo, one of the most important Axeists from the start of this century.

It raisen up the dust

Jizzled in the handle: Esporrei na Manivela

A very beautiful and meaningful neo-sertanist poetry, by Rodolfo Abrantes.

Entered the train, jizzled in the handle
The inspector, mother-fucker, threw me out through the window
I fell on the floor, with my dick exposed
And an old bag sent me to the Sheriff
The Sheriff had the face of a deer and ordered me to drink in the ass
I drank in an ass, but I drank in the wrong ass
When I realised, it was the sheriff's ass

The public transportation is ideal for groping,
As people in crowds tend to rub each other
With the old colored women it's leg here and leg there
And if the cunt is poorly washed, it makes the cheese sweat.
"Speak Head!"

Whether it's in bumps or sudden breaks,
Whether it's in curves or highways,
Those are ideal situations for groping,
At the public transport, what matters is the Dick's law:
Those who have it, rub on those who don't,
Those who don't, just get themselves screwed up.

Mr. Sheriff, this is the deal
Mr. Sheriff, release the kids
The Raimundos is nice people, Mr. Sheriff
You are also interested in the buisiness there doctor
Take it easy, crook
there, doctor
We'll sing the rock for you
you are nice people
Rock boy, for the dick of the Sheriff